Let it be? or Make it happen?

I’ve been reading a Booker prize winner by Julian Barnes. The Sense of an Ending. A Swiss friend gave it to me, saying how much she enjoyed it. I’m now nearing the end, the second time around. It’s been even better the second time around; wondering if I should flick back to the beginning when I finish and read it one more time.

It’s hard to say why it’s so good. The story is intriguing but not gripping. The characters are well-drawn, understated. I guess it’s got my attention because in some ways, looking at the main character is like looking in a mirror, I fear. 

I fear it because the main character is a bland, inoffensive sort of guy who has really let life happen all around him. He’s careful not to cause a fuss, not to offend (well, mostly). He’s pleased that though his wife broke up the marriage, they’ve stayed on good terms. He’s relieved he has an ok relationship with their daughter. 

As the story unfolds and a truly weird situation is revealed, he realizes that he’s never really grabbed hold of life. Never steered his way through it. Never stuck tenaciously to anything. Never fought for anything. He’s just drifted along, inoffensive, average, and let life happen. Now he’s retired and he just wants to hold on to his mental faculties until it’s time to go. And he wants to go before he has spent all his money on care, so that he can leave something to his daughter. So she will have a pleasant memory of him.

No, actually, it isn’t like looking in a mirror at all. I have tried to walk in the way Jesus directs, and that has led me down paths I’ve not found comfortable, doing things I never thought I would do. He’s opened doors into ministries and blessed me with a desire to serve him. He’s given me his Holy Spirit who has really put the fizz in my life.

“This is the way, walk in it.” The Bible tells us that God directs our paths and guides us into life-enhancing situations. He invites us to step out of the boat of safety and familiarity and walk on the water with him.

When I do, life is exhilarating. Fun. Amazing. Slightly scary.

But I don’t always listen, and then, probably, is when I am like the character from the book. Just letting life happen.

Not today. My ears are open. I’m poised on the edge of the boat, ready to go over the side. How about you?