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Where is it, exactly?

When I’m in Scotland and talking about Long Beach, I still call it home, though I’ve not lived there for over 38 years. 

When I am in Long Beach and talking about Scotland, I often call it home – though when I do, I will be referring to people rather than a place. Mostly.

In Long Beach, I have memories from the beginning of my life, and those memories are pungent and powerful. When I return there, I sleep in the bedroom in which I grew up. I drive the freeways on which I learned to drive (on the RIGHT side of the road...). I enjoy the warmth which still I long for when back in Scotland. I go to the beach and gaze at the cold Pacific Ocean and watch the sunset, still familiar after all these years. All around are memories of my sister, my dad, our antics as we grew up. I visit cousins who still live in the area. I drink milkshakes and eat donuts (not too many of either lest I return super-sized...)

But, I miss those I left behind in Scotland. I miss the open spaces, the fresh air, the fresh garden vegetables. I miss my church family. I miss my friends. I am happy when it’s time to return ‘home’ to Scotland. And yet, I'm not.

At both airports, Aberdeen and LAX, I am in tears at leaving behind loved ones. Faces crumple as final hugs are given. Tears flow freely. 

And so today I am packing. Excited to be going home, to be going to see my beloved daughter and my beloved mother. Sad to be leaving my beloved Don, and my beloved sons and their wives/fiancé.

Yesterday in church we sang of our home in heaven. Home is where the heart is, the saying goes. I’ve given my heart to Jesus, and my home, my real home, is in heaven, and there are times I yearn for that home, because there are no airports in heaven. There are no tears, no sorrows, no partings. 

Once, over thirty years ago, as I sat clinging to my two older children, who were wee tots then, on an airplane in LAX, waiting to return to Scotland, I held back tears lest I set the kids off. We’d just said goodbye to my dear sister and parents. I was a new Christian, only just getting to know my Bible.

Very clearly God gave me the impression that I should look up Deuteronomy 31: verse 8. I didn’t know what it said. I didn’t really know where to find it. But I had a small Bible with me and I looked it up.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Ours is a God of comfort and love, who reaches out and holds us in our deepest valleys. 

I am encouraged to know that he is with me today, tomorrow, and forever.