I am still sitting with the alabaster jar. Meditation can
sometimes last for days or weeks, in quiet times or as I drive in to Aberdeen
for a hair appointment. That was the situation this morning.
As I prayed, again, that the Lord will help me leave that
broken alabaster jar at his feet, and completely let go of all expectations of
myself or anyone else, I thought suddenly of the Japanese art of kintsugi. I
have used a kintsugi kit to repair some broken bits and pieces round my house,
and really do love the golden lines which mark the break and repair. The bits
and pieces are no longer generic bits and pieces: they are my bits and
pieces, which stand out because of the breaks and repairs. They are
something special.
I will need to continue this prayer until I am convinced I’ve
really surrendered all expectations of myself and other people, but this
morning I began to pray that the Lord will help me with putting that alabaster
jar back together with kintsugi. I’m not sure exactly how this is going to
happen, but I want an alabaster jar which is sound enough to hold all my
expectations of Jesus: that he will never leave nor forsake me, that one day
there will be no more tears, death, separations (or airports – I think John
left that one out in Revelation!), and basically that all his promises are
true.
I pray that at the end I will have – or maybe be – an
alabaster jar completely mended and whole, with golden threads of glue joining
me back together. Underneath the royal robes, I don’t deserve, I will be a ‘kintsugi
vessel’, living to serve His Majesty forever.
We are all cracked vessels, but with the Lord’s golden touch
we will one day stand before him, uniquely whole.
Hallelujah!
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