Proactive or Reactive?

Proactive or reactive? Most of my life has been lived reactively. I think as a mother of four, grandmother of four, only living child of an ageing mother, wife of a self-employed man, I have always been the one to fill in the gaps. The floater who can be asked at the last minute for a favour, a helping hand. And it is a privilege to be able to move in alongside those I love and be available to lend a helping hand. 

Can that be said to be a calling? The one who plugs the gaps? 

Maybe. 

When I look at Jesus, I see there a proactive man who knew when the time was right, and when it wasn’t. Who wouldn’t be pressured by family who thought he’d lost the plot, nor driven by friends whose brother was dying. Proactively directing his steps – or was he? He also said that he did only what he saw his father in heaven doing. Reactive.

Discerning what our Father in heaven is doing, and what Jesus is calling and equipping us to with his Holy Spirit: that’s the key to a fulfilled life. Learning to discern takes time, I’ve found. 

At my age, I’m still learning. Meanwhile, I hover over my laptop with one ear alert to the moving of our friends who are visiting, knowing that any moment they will be down and I will be making coffee, breakfast, chatting. Reactive or proactive, life is a blessing.

Reactive or Proactive?

Today has been a day where the shots have called me, instead of the other way around. I prefer the other way around. It’s tough to remain serene when you feel so out of control.

If I thought it was tough for me today, though, that was nothing compared to someone with a brand new baby! Watching my new granddaughter rule the roost at her parents’ home reminds me of just how unrelentingly demanding someone so little and cute can be. It takes patience, endurance, strength and ... youth.

Well, it makes me wonder how God views his ‘days’. I mean, does he see the sun rise over Scotland and think, ‘Great! I’ve got great plans for Michele today!’ and then watch as I buzz off on a path independently, maybe a cul de sac or even a downhill road. 

Does my initial neglect of a quiet, listening time result in a Reactive day for God as he tries to keep up with my chaotic choices? If I were more disciplined with that daily routine of sitting in my prayer alcove and listening, would God be left metaphorically rubbing his hands and whispering, ‘I love it when a plan comes together!’ 

Would I notice a big difference at the end of the day?

I know the answer to that one. I’ve done that experiment so many times you’d think I’d be more disciplined. Trying to digest Scripture like fast food grabbed on the run usually results in regurgitation or indigestion. Neither is pretty nor fun. 

So, as the day draws to a close, I am pleased to note that apart from a couple of dates with cooking full Scottish brekkies early, and a walk in the park later, I should be able to walk through tomorrow in shalom, assuming I start in it.

Jesus rose and went out on the hills to talk to his Father while it was still dark. Is it really so much for me to ring-fence a half hour?

I’ll let you know tomorrow...