Joy breaks through

Old Faithful. The name of the geyser in Yellowstone Park that erupts at regular intervals without fail.

Yesterday I felt the joy had been drained out of me. That despite laughter and smiles, that deep down sense of joy was missing. The joy of the Lord – which is the total abandonment to Him, trusting Him to bring all things right. 

I started asking Him to restore that joy to me. That though circumstances would not change, I would be changed to be able to walk through them with a deep sense of peace and hope, the hope that is never disappointed because it rests on God who is, (and I mean no disrespect), Old Faithful. He is Love, and love never fails.

The joy is rising within me. I’ve lightened up. My smile today is not cosmetic, not surface, but begins deep inside my soul because I do know that God is in charge. And God is always good. 

I can let go. I don’t have to control the situation with Mom. I don’t have to be there to watch anxiously for any signs of deterioration. I don’t have to question anyone about her state. I can pray, and I can trust, and God will provide all she needs. 

I had a startlingly clear dream of my dear dad a few weeks ago. He died last December. There was some sort of barrier separating us, in my dream, but Dad was looking me in the eye and saying, “Wherever you go, Michele, make sure you always have something to laugh about.” And I smiled back at him and repeated it to him, “Yes, and wherever you go, Dad, make sure you always have something to laugh about.”

My Dad did laugh a lot. He was able to see the funny side of many a miserable situation. And last night, that dream came back to me, and I embraced it. I thank God for my Dad, and that through dreams, he can still give me a word of advice at the right moment. 

I thank God for dreams. I thank God for his comfort and peace and the joy which, like Old Faithful, is rising within me. 

Watch this space for a full-blown eruption!