Keep Schtum!

In one of the early Narnia books by C S Lewis, the witch invades London and commandeers a taxi – pulled in those days by a horse. I have a picture of her in my mind’s eye as I write – she is standing with feet planted firmly on the footrest where the driver had been sitting. She’s pushed him off and now stands, legs akimbo, hair wildly blowing, one hand holding the reins, the other lifting a whip high, ready to be brought crashing across the poor horse’s back. She is jolting from side to side through the wet cobbled streets of London.

I like to think I let God do the driving in my life. I know that is the best way. That is what I want to do. But.

I have a situation in my life. I am upset about it, and long to wade in and fix it...though I am aware that my ‘fix’ might just make things worse. God’s been highlighting a truth to me for some time now: the Bible says that Jesus’ mother Mary ‘pondered things in her heart’, and I read the other day how Jacob, when hearing Joseph’s dream, ‘pondered it in his heart’. It seems it is a good policy to keep ‘schtum’ sometimes. Maybe always. Ponder and pray. Trust and obey.

Initially I felt relief that I didn’t have to sort this situation. God would. I praised and thanked him. I felt great. Until 3 am, when I awoke and began to stew. So one night I got up and drafted out an email, convinced that perhaps, in fact, I ought to just say a couple of things. I didn’t press Send,  though, realising that I needed to ask advice and consider it in the cold light of day. 

Which I did, and then, still convinced that the time of pondering was over and I should take action, I pressed Send. Twice. My laptop did not respond. It had switched off Wifi. I found the button and switched it on again. Still no connection. By the time I had Troubleshot the problem and was back on line, I had recognised my folly. My disobedience.

Like the wild witch in the Narnia story, I had given up riding shotgun and had pushed Jesus over and grabbed the reins. I was about to run roughshod through the situation, so God in his mercy shut me down. 

I feel peace again. I am where I belong, riding shotgun, with Jesus holding the reins. Grateful that he sometimes intervenes in spectacular ways to help us obey him. Like the psalmist, I wait for him to sort the situation. He’s the God of miracles, after all.