Do everything without complaining…so that you may become
blameless and pure, children of God without fault. Phil 2:14-15
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way
you judge others, you will be judged. Matthew 7:1-2
From the ends of the earth we hear singing…But I said, ‘I
waste away, I waste away! Woe is me! Isaiah 24:16
I bought a book on grief for someone, but thought I should
read it first. It has struck home with me so many times, no more so than this
morning’s reading, which started with these three verses.
Jennifer Rees Larcombe, the author of ‘Beauty for Ashes’,
recently died, so I can’t write to thank her for her wise words. I hope someone
thanked her in her lifetime. Writing from her own desperately painful
experience of loss, she describes the attitudes revealed by the above verses as
being powerful joy-killers.
I recognise the faults in myself. For years, I have had a
line of an old chorus often in my head and on my lips: ‘Restore unto me the joy
of my salvation.’ I remember those heady days when I first met Jesus and was
filled with the Spirit. I want them back, and so am grateful for the light she
shines on what can conspire to kill my joy.
Today I repent of grumbling, criticising and feeling sorry
for myself. Though these are not constant attitudes in me, they certainly rear
their ugly heads with regularity and now that I recognise them as joy-stealers,
I want to have nothing more to do with any of them ever.
Lord, rewire my brain, I pray. Transform my thinking and my
default reactions so they copy yours, Jesus. May I be a vessel of your love and
grace, your mercy and kindness, pouring myself out in confidence that you
refill me, pressed down and overflowing. You are more than enough.
I have lived many years, and I have known many griefs, from
the agonising heartache of homesickness to the loss of a sister, a dad, a
grandson and many friends, and the slow loss of my mother into dementia. I didn’t
know how helpful I would find a book on grief, because I didn’t recognise the
space it has assumed in my heart. I really recommend this wee book of ‘Readings
for times of loss’.
On this beautiful morning, I lift my eyes to the hills, and
thank God, who is my help always.
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