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Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Lists


When I start to panic about how much I have to do, I start making lists. There is some satisfaction in ticking things off as I do them, but I was wondering this morning if it’s a control thing. Does it make me believe I am in better control of time?

It made me think of God speaking into the chaos at creation, and creating order, and I think many times when I get into true list mode I am trying to create order in the chaos of responsibilities. 

The trouble with to-do lists is that when the interruptions come, I can feel sort of frantic inside. Any peace I had (and self-congratulation for getting so much done) vanishes as I pull into a lay-by with someone and the clock keeps ticking.

There is a real pull to be a human do-ing rather than a human be-ing. 

If only I could relinquish control to God, really surrender myself to his ordering of my life and my time. I know peace would then invade me and I would still get all the necessities done.

Why is that so hard to do?

Sorry, can’t linger. Too much on my list.

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