Resolutions

Back to school/work/normality today. 

New day. New year. God knows the plans he has for me and if I am wise, I will sit with him long enough to hear his whisper and run with him. Too often have I run away from him, following what I thought was my heart or was a better direction.

My ‘to do’ list is as complete a list of new year’s resolutions as I will make, but it is pretty comprehensive and daunting. I need to sit with him and hear his voice, following his advice on what to cross off my list and adding the things he suggests.

The great thing about our Father is that he loves us and wants to hang out with us. How unwise I am to follow my list slavishly rather than offering it to him for his advice. And it’s not all about ‘doing’ anyway...the sitting with him is such a breath of fresh air.

That’s the number one, the only, resolution I am making this year. To prioritise time with the Father.

I’ve got some Bible reading notes published in this quarter’s edition of Day by Day with God, from BRF. Sometimes it helps to have a guide as we navigate the Bible.

Time is Running Out

You know Christmas is nearly here when you discover you’re too late to qualify for free delivery from Amazon. Too late for them to guarantee delivery before Christmas. Unless you pay for first class.

Temperatures have plummeted the last few days, and haven’t risen above freezing all day today. Another sign of the approach of the shortest day of the year, quickly followed by Christmas.

The kitchen begins to smell spicy and warm and sweet. The living room is scented with the aroma of pine. People smile maniacally at you in the street – either freezing, or panic-buying. 

You have started making lists of the lists you have. Christmas cards to go to the other side of the world still sit on the table, crying out to be signed and sent.

It’s time to draw breath. To sit down with a cuppa and a Bible and the Lord. To linger and ponder, be challenged and comforted. 

Good idea.

Who am I to be doing this?

Monday morning and I’ve made a LIST. 

It’s as long as my arm and if I’m honest, I know I don’t have much hope in getting them all checked off today. Or ticked off, as they say in Britain – but to me that still has connotations of being annoyed with someone. I check things off my list, rather than tick them off. But I digress.

It’s hard to discern on a list of 25 actions, which is the most important. Where do I start? Some are obvious – put the wash on because the sun is out, though now that the load has finished, it’s raining again. Darn!

Others happen at certain times. Cook dinner. Make various phone calls which need to be made later in the day, when certain people are up on the other side of the world. 

When I finish some things, I can check them off with assurance that they are finished for today. Walking the dog. Ironing. But other things linger on. 

Today the big lingerer is practicing what I am going to say when I lead the Time for Reflections in the Scottish Parliament on Wednesday. It’s not that I am free to make any changes to my script, because it had to be approved two weeks ago. But now that I’m trying to memorize it, how can I be sure that I have it nailed? I’m nowhere near there yet, but will I know when I am?

More disturbingly, doubts tickle the edges of my mind. ‘This is pretty mundane.’ ‘Nothing profound nor even interesting in what you’re saying.’ ‘They will have heard it all before.’

So I’m getting a case of the Jeremiah jitters. The Moses doubts. Who am I to be doing this?

And the answer is obvious. I’m nobody. But I’m counting totally on my Saviour to take the paltry words I have to say and imbue them with life and power, so that those who hear the words, hear his voice speaking through them. And when they hear his voice, I pray that they will be inspired to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly before God.

Lists

When I start to panic about how much I have to do, I start making lists. There is some satisfaction in ticking things off as I do them, but I was wondering this morning if it’s a control thing. Does it make me believe I am in better control of time?

It made me think of God speaking into the chaos at creation, and creating order, and I think many times when I get into true list mode I am trying to create order in the chaos of responsibilities. 

The trouble with to-do lists is that when the interruptions come, I can feel sort of frantic inside. Any peace I had (and self-congratulation for getting so much done) vanishes as I pull into a lay-by with someone and the clock keeps ticking.

There is a real pull to be a human do-ing rather than a human be-ing. 

If only I could relinquish control to God, really surrender myself to his ordering of my life and my time. I know peace would then invade me and I would still get all the necessities done.

Why is that so hard to do?

Sorry, can’t linger. Too much on my list.