Migraine

Sometimes I am bothered with the flashing lights of a migraine, but thankfully, over the last few years, once they stop, it’s over. There is no lingering headache, for which I am very grateful.

Just prior to the flashing lights, I notice a blurring of focus. A sort of alert to expect incipient prisms of colour dancing round the periphery of my vision. I have learned over the years that if I choose to continue reading or writing or doing close work of any kind during these episodes, it is possible as long as I focus on the centre of my vision. One word at a time sort of thing. If the light show becomes too distracting, it’s time to close my eyes and wait it out. After twenty minutes or so my vision is restored.

Life is full of flashing lights. Things entice me away from my focus and if I am not disciplined, I can easily wander from my purpose and become caught up in all sorts of other things. Things that may be good, too, but that may not be what I should be focused on at this moment in time. 

I need discipline. Actually, I need the Holy Spirit to help me discern which are the flashing lights, and what is the focus for this moment, this hour, this day. There are times when I go with the flashing lights, and am left with the migraine headache. How weak I am, and how much I need to rely on God to help me make the right decision.

Spiritually Stunted

My friend was searching for a package in her friend’s home. She opened an obscure cupboard and reported there was a white plastic bag inside, tied at the top.

On opening the bag, she discovered a long-forgotten amaryllis. It had been removed from its box and the bulb placed on top of the unopened plastic bag of compost. 

Without nourishment from the compost, without water, and without light, this bulb had sprouted, grown and produced three amazingly beautiful flowers.

But the stem was like the neck of a swan, twisting and curved and rather weak, as the plant sought the light.

It’s now planted in the compost in a pot, supported with two knitting needles and watered with care, set in a place where it is bathed in the light from a window.

Jesus counsels that we should abide in him, be planted in him, be nourished by him. He tells us he is the light of the world, a light which warms and draws life to itself. He declares he is the water of life, that he gives refreshment to all who are thirsty. 

People may look ok from the outside (though perhaps a bit twisted like the stem of the amaryllis). They may seem to be growing fine, but they may be weaker than they look. To develop and bloom with all the strength and vitality Jesus planned for us, we need to be planted, watered, and lit correctly. 

Jesus said he came that we might have life to the full. We’ll never have a full life if we are tied up in a bag in a dark cupboard, so to speak, with no access to light, water and food. We’ll be spiritually stunted.

One Hour

“Could you not keep watch with me for one hour?” Jesus asked his disciples. Oh, I can hear the disappointment in his voice, the sadness, and the neediness for others’ prayer support.

Having just been in Jerusalem in March, I can picture the scene. The garden. The close proximity to the city walls and gate. The temple, just on the other side of the wall.

I can imagine the disciples’ exhaustion. The busy-ness of the city. The danger, not overt yet palpable. Whisperings, heads turning, Jesus talking about his death. Confusion. Then the weirdness of his words over the familiar Passover feast.

They’d had a little wine, and a feast. Sleep overcame them. 

I’m sure they wanted to stay awake and keep watch with Jesus, but Jesus understood the problem. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” And yet even at that moment of greatest peril for Jesus, his concern was not for himself alone, but for his disciples.  It was a critical moment for the disciples themselves. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

Of course they didn’t, so they did. If you follow me. They didn’t watch and pray, so they did fall into temptation. Jesus told Peter he would deny their friendship three times. Maybe if he’d stayed awake and prayed, he’d have been bolder. But he fell asleep.

Oh dear. I’m reading my story here.  Sometimes I’m falling asleep. But more often than not I’m just too busy to keep watch with Jesus for one hour. 

Today, may I get my priorities right, and may it be the first day of the rest of my life.