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Wednesday, 3 June 2015


When they planted saplings just beyond the ‘haunted house’ a few years ago, they wrapped them in a protective plastic tube to keep the deer from nibbling them. As the trunks grow, the tube expands until eventually the girth of the tree pushes the plastic tubing right off. Presumably at this point the trees are strong enough to withstand any errant deer nibbling at its bark.

I noticed that as I walked by this morning, deep in thought and crying out to God. Serious situations beyond my control have arisen and as I voiced a fear this morning I was rebuked for my pessimism. As I reflect on that whole thing, I realize that as a mother, my instincts are always to protect, a bit like the plastic tubing. My family have all burst their plastic tubes long ago now, but still the instinct to protect is strong. And I think that has translated itself into a sense of responsibility to foresee all eventualities so that I can be ready with a plan in case it happens. I think that’s what my dad called being realistic when we accused him of being pessimistic, and I see myself in that same situation now.

I don’t want to put myself on the analyst’s couch here, but I do think that there is an element of not being able to relinquish and release. I know all of the promises of God and I believe them completely, but sometimes they sit in my head and fail to take the inward elevator down to my heart.  There is an element of control here, perhaps, of not completely moving on into my next season, letting go and trusting God. Still trying to stretch that protective wrap around my children when they have long ago outgrown it.

Today I will fast from every negative thought which threatens to invade my mind. I will close those doors. I will not allow fears of what might be to rob me of the peace of God which passes all understanding. I’m going to do what Paul coached the Philippians to do in chapter 4: ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’


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